I just received a letter recently from a Filipino-American reader who was asking about my opinion of Amsterdam, and maybe Netherlands in general. The letter came at a very nice time. I would like to share most of what I said in my e-mail. This is mostly straight from my heart. It may not sound fair or sensible at times and that because it is based on my emotions at this time.

I resigned from my job yesterday. My husband and I are leaving the Netherlands. I only moved here to end our long distance relationship that went on for some months and finally join my Dutchman. I quit my job in NJ and moved here not knowing what awaits me. I did not come here for economic reasons or for a job offer. I loved living in the US and have also felt that it offered me many opportunities to live the so called American dream except that I ended up finding my partner across the Atlantic. I still want to come back there someday.

Reading about your situation there, I strongly discourage you from living in Amsterdam if you like that kind of quiet and easy suburb picket fence lifestyle — you would live the big city life and that includes the harsh realities and rat race lifestyle that goes with it. Sorry to say but Amsterdam is not a family-friendly city. It is harsh and the people are also rough — comparable to what New York is like. You mentioned also the fact that your wife’s needs are of greatest importance as well. Having household help is such a luxury outside the Philippines! We currently pay a nice Moroccan lady 200 Euros a month: she comes here for 5 hours a week to do household cleanup and do laundry as needed. 10 euros per hour is on the lower end of the range. The classified ads at Expatica.com would give you an idea what nationalities are providing services as well as rates.

The biggest difficulty you and your wife would probably have is the language. Even though most people of the younger age range (50 and below) speak good English as a second language you are very much expected to learn Dutch in order live a happy life here. Most older people have difficulty speaking in English. Aside from that, your wife will have to deal with loneliness and culture shock. I guess some people, especially younger ones can adapt better but some would. It depends really on her personality and yours if you are both up to the challenge. Schools are also not very expat-friendly, the teachers expect you to speak Dutch of course, so better consider sending your kids to International Schools. I am not sure about the quality of academics here because I did not go to school here. I suggest reading the forums at Expatica.com: I have read many sad stories of alienation. It’s not at all very positive. The locals, as it is with all countries there are bad ones and good ones that you meet. I am sure you would meet friendly and caring locals but it takes a while for Dutch people to warm up and include you in their circle. That is coming from my
experience. Even though I work in an International firm, my department is mostly Dutch men, so I am speaking from experience.

Some people also have a wrong perception of Americans; their view of them comes from what they see in movies and such. Some of them openly criticize the US and Americans but they have not even lived there (or even visited) at all! It can be very insulting sometimes and some people are just downright arrogant. Be prepared to be asked intrusive questions from nosy people. But I think it’s more out of curiosity also. One thing that I admit though is that in the US we are somewhat spoiled. We have our cars and big houses and we are not used to the harsh life and we are a bit materialistic in a sense. That is the main perception here. I appreciate the simple living of many people here and their healthier lifestyle when it comes to food, spending habits, placing importance on family-life, such as couples sharing equally child care, modest living, most of what I seen and heard is very sensible in a way. Organic food shops also are quite common. Public transport is reliable and abundant so you get a chance to really walk or even use the bike! No need to pay gym membership. The bureaucracy you have to deal with is painfully slow and shockingly bad! Immigration paperwork is the worst I’ve ever seen in my life. Many people in the government offices do not speak good English (or not at all) and they send all correspondences in Dutch. Getting information from the offices is also a big pain because they do not give you a consistently correct answer all of the time. The answers are different depending who you talked to so you end up more confused than ever. Of course your normal bills, letters, will be in Dutch of course. I think it makes sense to hire a Dutch speaking personal assistant after all if you can afford it. That’s one thing I suggest especially at the beginning.

Cost of living: rent in Amsterdam: furnished apartments starts at 1200 EUR without utilities, 700 unfurnished. Internet 20 EUR, cable 30 EUR, electricity 100/month for 2 bedroom. Apartments in the city are very small. Bigger single detached family houses are all found outside of the city. Groceries for 2 people: 40 a week, Takeout/Delivery food: 15-20 Euros, Dining out around 50 Euros for 2 persons, drinks are in very small bottles/glasses and quite expensive. 90 Euros for filling up a medium sized car, fuel cost is 3x of America I think but travel distances are smaller. Also by the way, only a few American TV shows are shown here and most of the time 6 months behind but I guess you have your ways of downloading them from the internet. There is a bookstore selling English-language books in Amsterdam. All musicals and theater performances, are in Dutch but movie theaters show American movies in original dubbing but with Dutch subtitles (phew!). There is one American comedy club in Amsterdam called Boom Chicago. Filipino stores are hard to find: I found one in Nieuw Vennep but it is not always open. I have not found any Filipino restaurants and takeout at all in my 3 years of stay here. It is possible to meet Filipinos when you attend Dutch language classes or visit the store however I do not suggest approaching one randomly while walking around for obvious reasons.

Nevertheless, I have no regrets coming here. I have met wonderfully interesting people, great culture, seen beautiful architecture and seen a lot of places! That’s another thing you should also consider! Sightseeing is wonderful but living and settling in a place is something else, it really depends on what your priorities are.